Content warning: this series discusses LGBT persecution, with examples including Matthew Shepherd.
Did the title catch your attention? Good. Now let me reassure you: I’m gay and solo poly myself, so that is mostly tongue in cheek. However yesterday did give me several reasons to question the commitment of straight (cisgender heterosexual) polyamorists or “polys” to LGBT causes.
October 10th of each year is National Coming Out Day, a day created by and for LGBT people to support each other through the life changing, sometimes quite dangerous, process of coming out as not cisgender or not heterosexual. Yet straight cis man after straight cis man after straight cis woman took that LGBT event as an opportunity to announce they prefer non monogamy.
While polyamory and LGBT identities both have to do with sex and relationships, and while monogamy like cisgender heterosexuality is prized and promoted, the commonalities end there. Compulsory heterosexuality damages queer children. Compulsory monogamy irritates poly people. The degrees of compulsion are worlds apart: people may not understand polyamory but they rarely equate it with child rape and bestiality.
There is no conversion therapy for non monogamy, no homeless poly youth epidemic. The culture wars don’t care if you sleep around or have multiple serious relationships, but they swear my very existence is an abomination. Poly students aren’t being marked at school with neon armbands to facilitate bullying against them. (Read this trans boy’s story here.)
There is no poly Matthew Shepherd, beaten, crucified, and left to die. There was no mass shooting hate crime at a poly club just months ago. This has not been the deadliest year on record for poly cishets, like it has been for trans women. HB2 codifies discrimination against LGBT as a civic right, but for some reason polys weren’t lumped into the bill with us.