Last one, I swear.
Most single women are open to being approached by a confident guy, so that they can have a chance to meet a potential new lover or boyfriend.
Citation sorely needed. A concise definition of “open” is also desired, along with a brief explanation why her potential openness is of greater interest than the fact that she’s already doing something, and that she is wearing headphones, the universal symbol of not wanting to talk to you.
Too bad women have no other chances at meeting possible lovers besides letting random men on the street interrupt them and order them to take off their headphones! It’s a shame there are no online dating sites or singles mixers anywhere in the world and that the perpetuation of the heterosexual race depends on street harassment. I feel bad for straights.
The key to talking to a woman who is wearing headphones (or who has her face buried into her smartphone and checking Facebook) is to have the right attitude and behavior when you approach her.
No. The key is to not do it unless you have a real reason. “Watch out for that runaway ice cream truck” is a reason. “I think you’re hot and don’t care if this disclosure is inappropriate or even vaguely threatening” is not. Women genuinely do not care what random horndogs think. If they cared, they would ask.
The right attitude is to be confident, relaxed and easy going, which allows the woman to feel naturally attracted to you and open to talking with you.
You could be so relaxed you were in a coma and millions of women would still rather have you silent and away, but who cares about the dozens of women you’ll harass if even one of them gives your ego a stroke with her trapped smile and nervous laughter, eh?
Of course, not all women who wear headphones are open to being approached or hoping to be approached. However, you can only find that out by starting a conversation and seeing what happens.
Or you could just assume headphones mean what they say and let women exist publicly without your skjeevy creepy domineering boundary violating ways which you insist on mislabeling as confident and easy going.
Who knows? She might just be your perfect girl.
For men it’s “Who knows? She might be your perfect girl.” For women it’s “Who knows? He might assault me if I don’t smile and pretend I like this.” Is every woman gonna be as hostile to sexually laden interruptuons from strange men as me? Nope. But we all have to live under the ever present threat of fatal male violence. Part of acknowledging that’s wrong is not exploiting that threat for your own gain.
Men can afford to “approach” women because the worst she can do is say no. When men hit on me, here are the things I want to say.
- Fuck off
- As if
- I’m gay
- Go away
- Your shirt is ugly
- Your face is ugly
- Leave women alone.
What I feel safe enough to say? “I have a boyfriend.”
I wear headphones to reduce the frequency of times I tell entitled men to fuck themselves, because each time I’m at risk. This writer would see that refuge taken from us, would compel us to enter into more stranger danger scenarios. Because for men it’s a numbers game and more interactions mean more chances to score. For women it’s also an issue of odds, with more interactions increasing negative outcomes.
Leave women alone.