Compulsory Breeding Logic (2/2)

Don’t miss part 1. Content warning for gross racism in following text.

Yup, every part of parenting is awesome and anyone can do it well without a lot of money. Legit.

6. The World Is Overpopulated

Er, I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a eugenics nut, but it’s about quality, not quantity. Yes, India has dead bodies floating down the river. Your local public school having yet another kid named Cody is not going to cause global warming.

These kinds of myths gain traction because of the death of math. We want to save all the kittens and rescue all the pups and kill all the babies, because we think there are a finite number of each. There are seven billion of us. Your gestures aren’t “thinking globally.” They’re not thinking at all. If you go on to the beach and wash one grain of sand, you’re not “doing your part.” You’re wasting your time. We live in the safest, healthiest, and most prosperous nation ever. If anyone should feel good about creating more people here, it’s you. And if you don’t, someone else will.

The reason you sound like a eugenics supporter is because you are one. Your casual dismissal of the value of Indian life is appalling, and your suggestion that a white American middle class kid will have less impact on the Earth’s environment than children elsewhere is the opposite of factual. If everyone in the world consumed at the rate of Codys and their parents, we would face extinction.

This nation is hardly the safest, especially when it comes to having children. While the rest of the world is seeing declining maternal mortality, our rates are climbing. “Someone else will” originally linked to a “white genocide” piece, which I chose not to link. The people the author wants to feel good about having kids are whites.

7. My Parents Were Horrible and I Don’t Want to Repeat That

Yeah, your lineage has been polluted by the crappy parent gene, and you’re doing the world a service by cutting it off. In fact, the opposite is true. My experience has been that the children of negligent parents know exactly how damaging that is and are the least likely to reproduce it (“my experience” is code for “white middle class” and is relevant here because that’s likely who is reading this article—sorry).

Have you been around the dads without dads? The biggest problem with them is they dote on their children too much.

Wow, anecdata of personal experience. The most powerful argument of all! Even trumps that one about smelling baby breath. Truly, a master of rhetoric and the art of persuasion. But at least I get confirmation about his middle class biases. Who needs statistics on the generational cycle of abuse when you’ve got gut feelings and casual observations?

8. It’s No Big Deal If I Don’t

Really? How could it possibly be a bigger deal? Besides the part where our entire civilization is choosing to stop reproducing, what about you? Cavemen fought saber-toothed tigers. Your ancestors survived the plague. World war after world war went by, and your relatives made it through, and you’re going to throw that all away with a shrug? You’re ending that incredible journey through history because you like watching Netflix in the daytime?

Remember your couched endorsement of eugenics two points ago? That’s where you said if I don’t breed, someone else will. And it’s true. The human race is not at present risk of extinction due to depopulation. It’s truly not a big deal to the species if some individuals never pass on genes, and that’s how things go for most animal species. There is not a shortage of births.

9. It’s Too Expensive

So is eating out in New York if you do it wrong. You can have a dinner for $4 or you can have one for $400. Public school is free, and there are still plenty of areas where they’re just as good as private. Bicycles are cheap, toys are cheaper, second-hand clothes are everywhere, and kids don’t really care if they’re in an apartment or a mansion. College and piano lessons are all frills kids don’t require. In the ’70s, we didn’t have any of that stuff, and we loved it. Having a kid is exactly as expensive as you want it to be.

Good Lord, those middle class lenses. One in four US kids lives in poverty. One in three live with hunger. Their parents work, are on food stamps, and still can’t make dollars stretch far enough. The good public schools are in areas with high rent, and the “affordable” apartments have underfunded and even dangerous schools nearby. Having enough money to afford a child is rapidly becoming the exclusive privilege of the wealthy.

10. We’re Not Ready

Women are convinced they can cram a career in before their ovaries dry up, but did you notice you started menstruating at 14? Twenty-four is already ten years past that date. At 34, you’ve basically told your womb to pack it in. I’ve heard doctors get in trouble for saying this to their patients, but for the umpteenth time: The hour glass of your fertility turns upside down at 30, and five years later it’s all but drained.

Anecdotal evidence to the contrary is dangerous to cling to. I don’t know how many couples my age have realized it’s too late way after their best-before date and have spent tens of thousands of dollars attempting to reverse the clock. When they do manage to pull it off, they have to worry about health issues and autism, not to mention how brutal it is to get no sleep when you’re over 40.

Thanks for mansplaining menstruation cis sir, I had no idea it signalled my fertile years of life. I am stoked to learn from you, a non uterus having non doctor, that I can expect this pesky fertility to evaporate in another two years along with my ovaries. There’s that eugenics anti-autism spirit!

Look, going out for dinner is fun and Barcelona is beautiful at this time of year, but eventually you close that chapter in your life and move on to the next one. That’s what I was trying to say in “The Death of Cool.” I’m not trying to take away the party years where you did whatever you wanted and traveled the world getting blackout drunk. Do that.

However, adults recognize this is only a stage, and eventually you’re ready to move on to the next one. You’ve been a kid for decades now. It’s time to grow up and make some of your own.

There’s a Barcelona chapter of life?? How come no one told me, as I spent my last pre motherhood year sharing a 400 square foot apartment in Tampa? I think if my youth had enjoyed that kind of luxury, I might never have given it up. Author dude, I just gotta close by saying, you clearly don’t understand just how awesome daytime Netflix really is.

3 thoughts on “Compulsory Breeding Logic (2/2)

  1. I really want to punch him the most over the last line. I am so tired of people presenting the false dichotomy of “parent or child.” No, sir, I think you might be confusing that with “parents are people who have produced children.” Lots of people consider having children what influenced them to “grow up”, and I understand that, but to suggest that the only way to “grow up” is have a child that I have no personal desire for (my “stupid” reasons being none of his damn business) is absurd. Of course, seeing as he is advocating forcing people who don’t think they are capable of breaking the very real cycle of abuse to have children against their wills, my guess is that he frankly just doesn’t give a crap about parents or children. Just pop out more “quality” American white kids and don’t think about it.

    Although I do love the fact that he sees my childless life as going to restaurants and drinking. That sounds a lot more fun than what it actually is.


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