Monster Assault 3

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Eggeater

Hey guys, this is Monster Assault #3. You should read Monster Assault 1 and 2 as well. PS a Facebook page for my cat Lord Phinneas Fluff is coming soon. He’s so cute!

The first unfair thing is Donald Trump himself. We’re gonna make him have a nightmare. We will need a dream machine that allows us to travel into his dreams. I’ll be in a haunted piñata costume. Spooky, eh! Everyone’s scared of haunted piñatas! Right? Mom will dress as a ring wraith from Lord of the Rings. When he’s not looking around, I’m going to sneak up behind him and start chasing him. We will surround him from both sides. So Donald Trump, if you’re reading this all I have to say to you is Sweet dreams! Mwahahahaha! Continue reading Monster Assault 3

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Guest Post: Trump Secrets

The following post is written by my son Kid and published with his permission.

Kid’s Top Ten Secrets About Donald Trump

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1. Bing bong bing bing bong. (He is like Bing Bong from Inside Out)

2. He takes a bath in skunk ink and puts deodorant on himself to make him smell good.

3. He’s scared of everything but he pretends to be brave.

4. He wants to make things unfair for women and black people, so if you’re a woman or a black person vote for Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders.

5. He wears itchy underpants.

6. He’s really six weasels wearing a man’s suit and wig and one parrot that talks.

7. His mother is a hamster and his father smells of elderberries.

8. He’s scared of kitties and cute things.

9. He sleeps with an evil teddy bear that scares him to death when he comes to life.

10. He eats gold plated fish poop for breakfast.

PS We made them up but the true thing is, please don’t vote for Donald Trump. If you don’t I’ll be very happy. Just consider spreading the word. Our cat Phinneas came up with the one about him being scared of cats.

Fundies and Hippies: Parallel Rebels

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My grandmother Giggy wasn’t a hippie. She was born too early for Free Love and was a twice married mother of four by the time of Woodstock. She carried a mild disdain for hippies, much like the average paid Boomer screed hating on Millennials. She thought they were young and foolish, idealistic and impractical.

And yet, in a thousand little ways, the Christian lifestyle she proposed mirrored the values and practices of dedicated hippies. Giggy preached the superiority of home birth and abstention from vaccines. She taught her followers not to trust doctors. She promoted a model of family independence that included a vegetable garden, homemade simple clothes, and meals cooked from scratch. Continue reading Fundies and Hippies: Parallel Rebels

Entertainment is SRS BSNS

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This moring The Telegraph featured the whiniest opinion piece I’ve seen in ages, maybe ever. Rhymer Rigby is apparently upset that adults like superheroes. Maybe it’s because he has such a fantastic villain name. More likely it’s because his dad taught him to, as he spells out in his essay.

Rigby complains about other adults who still like things his father made him give up, like comic books and their feature film adaptations. Since he “outgrew” these things, any adult who hasn’t is immature. He can no longer find joy in these things, so people who can must be flawed. Rigby imagines himself as the standard.

Continue reading Entertainment is SRS BSNS

In Your Head

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“It’s all in your head!” Everyone with a mental illness has encountered this phrase. People want to believe disabilities are small and discrete, that they don’t impact the rest of our bodies. They don’t want to recognize that our bodies are interconnected systems. This is where we get the idea that mental illnesses are “all in our heads”. But they’re not.

Saying my anxiety is all in my head is like saying my IBS is all in my bowels: it’s simplistic to the point of bring untrue. Certainly anxiety originates in my brain; that’s the sickened organ. Likewise IBS originates in my bowels. But both disabilities have the capacity to impact my entire body.

Continue reading In Your Head

Birth Control Laws in the US

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Vintage postcard. Originally captioned “And still the villain pursues her!”

A divided eight member Supreme Court is hearing oral arguments this week in the case of Zubik v Burwell. Zubik et al argue that insurance provided by employer is morally dictated by employer, that religious orgs have religious freedom from providing healthcare they find “immoral”. Obama administration already offered an avenue for such orgs to opt out of providing birth control, by filling out a form. Apparently paperwork is also immoral or a religious violation, because that’s what they’re suing to avoid now. Having to fill out a form affirming that they refuse to provide birth control as part of employee health coverage. Burwell, Secretary of Health and Human Services, is arguing that the other side is being ridiculous and bratty. Continue reading Birth Control Laws in the US

Divorce’s Bad Reputation

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Divorce has an undeserved bad reputation and marriage has an undeserved good one. When I got married, even though it was clearly a shotgun wedding and the groom had given us all cause for concern, my friends and family congratulated me, as if I’d done something well. When I decided to leave him, very shortly after, I wasn’t in a mood for congratulations but could have done with less sorrow.

To me, looking back, it’s clear which of those decisions was bad (marriage) and which was good (separation/divorce). And it’s equally clear that my marriage was not all marriages, that for some people a vow to stay together feels like security, not a prison. It’s obvious to me that the quality of a marriage can be low or high.

Continue reading Divorce’s Bad Reputation