Spiritual Bro

word salad man
Expert on being a woman


This morning Facebook gave me the gift of a snark-worthy man. A self-styled lifecoach/guru uploaded this photo of himself with two women in the background, one literally hiding behind him, with a multi-paragraph caption advising women of the world how to better be women. It’s classic Bro prose, filled with Not All Men, but in this case it’s dipped in Deepak Chopra. There’s a lot of word salad to get through, so let’s dive right in, forks at the ready.

Honestly, ladies–for your own well-being’s sake–I wish you could beat yourselves to your own race to take back the feminine power by no longer trying to. The battle to reclaim your independence is based on the masculine suppression to begin with. The longer you try to win this war the longer you keep yourself slave to its illusion. You don’t need to take back anything; you never lost your beauty, power or independence. So don’t waste your precious energy.

Yeah, honestly, LADIES, this list of bloviated preferences isn’t about what he wants, but about our own well-being’s sake! How do we beat ourselves at a race? And wouldn’t that mean we’d also lost to ourselves? I agree that the battle for women’s independence is based on male oppression, but that’s sort of the point. There’s a real cause outside ourselves for this; we’re not “slaves to illusion”. Domestic violence, sexual harassment and assault, policing of women and girls’ clothes, wage gaps, and low representation in politics, law enforcement, business, and finance are not “illusions”. It’s really, really, really weird that this man seems to think the fight for gender liberation is about lost beauty. Maybe not having to be beautiful is a more pressing concern than where we misplaced it. I’m pretty sure men waste more of our precious energy than we do. 

Just relax, trust in life, don’t stand up for yourself “against” someone else any longer, just start living passionately in love and radiance and let the guys who are not out to hurt you not suffer for the old generation of blokes that out of ignorance suppressed your grandmothers 60 years ago. (Rare cases excluded – present day domestic violence etc.)

Yeah LADIES, don’t stand up for yourself against someone. Not ALL men. Give nice guys a chance! Men haven’t oppressed women except in rare cases since sixty years ago; get over it! Remember, this dude is a life coach. He thinks he knows things about the world and happiness and how to live a good life, but he straight up advises women (only women) to not stand up for themselves, based on his fantastically ignorant grasp on reality. 

Don’t bring the previous generation into the next please. Embrace your true power by not having to prove it any longer, for as long as you feel you have to prove it to anyone you’re still not believing you are powerful enough simply being who you are.

Again I say LADIES, not all men! Stop trying to prove yourself by doing what men tell you to do; do what I tell you to do.

The true feminine is the embodiment of flow, radiance and surrender. Her strength lies in her inner confidence and her connection with trust and faith itself. You’re not making life better for anyone trying to stand up against the masculine, or the past. Just be the feminine, be god, be you. Period. Unless you’re truly not the feminine type (we’re all a mixture anyway), regardless, just be who you are and stop fearing the loss of your independence. Find your true power in being you.

LADIES, no one knows the true feminine like a man-boy. And it’s apparently all about menses and surrender. Wow, can I pass on both? My strength doesn’t live in trust or faith, but in networking with other women, in refusing to surrender. Stop fearing the loss of independence! Those anti-choice laws restricting bodily autonomy and family planning don’t impact cis dudes with money. Why should you fear either? Just be you and reality will stop having an impact on your life!

You are loved by Existence, and there is a whole new generation of conscious dudes out there who are wanting to embrace the beauty of your natural feminine nature. Let go of the past, for the sake of your own alignment and the ease of your present-day relationships.

LADIES you are loved by Existence and dudes. DUDES! How could you not be thrilled to know that dudes want to embrace your natural feminine nature? Forget all the men who hurt you before; it harshes things for the dudes!


Take back your power by realizing you had never lost it to anyone in the first place. You are originally independent and powerful; male or female. Just be spirit in human form and find your freedom in that ease and simplicity.

Is taking back power you never lost like finding your glasses on your head? The ease and simplicity of platitudes will surely restore gender parity to the world. Ahhhh, the relaxation of not doing anything productive at all.

Stop tiring your body out trying to prove something to someone and let your beauty shine free of defense.

Because power and beauty? Totally the same thing. That’s why we compliment powerful men on their good looks. Right?

Be an example of a next-generation, integrated female radiator.

Emulate a floor model. Meld with the appliances. Become a furnace. Light yourself on fire to keep men warm.

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