Monster Assault

Today’s guest post was written by my child Kid and is published with permission.

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Wolfgang

I have four plans to make the world a fairer place. They all have two things in common: to make the world a better place, and me dressing as a monster and scaring people.  The monsters in my four plans are Wolfgang (Skylanders Trap Team), Dead Justice (Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated), a sea monster, and a headless black knight.

My first plan is the Wolfgang plan. Have you heard of Wolfgang from Skylanders Trap Team? There’s been some breaking news. Congress voted to cut food stamps for hungry kids! I need to somehow find a way to Washington DC and make a Wolfgang costume, and his weapon which seems to an electric harp made out of bones, and some white paint and bone decorations.  When the government is having a meeting I’ll just kick the front door open. Boom! When they go to attack I’ll grab my electric harp and ROCK OUT. I’ll make sure not to destroy their ear drums. When they’re distracted I’ll scare some people and if a  government one tries to escape, I’ll tackle him and warn him, “Uncut the food stamp money, or else!” (Dun, dun, dun!) PS I might do a howl.

Do you know about the bad cops? My Dead Justice plan is to take care of them. I’m gonna put on a Dead Justice disguise and my GPS watch (which I didn’t got yet) and then get a toy gun and use CGI on it. Then I need a horse because he’s a sheriff’s ghost. I’m gonna scare the heck out of the bad cops and warn them to be good, or else. (Dun dun dun!) P.S. I’m gonna hold the gun in my left hand because Dead Justice was a leftie.

Do you know about the oil platforms that pollute the water and cause global warming?  Well the sea monster plan will help with that! First I need a sea monster disguise (first I need to catch a fish to see how a fish moves so I can move exactly like a sea monster.) Then I put on some Scuba equipment inside the suit so I can breathe. Mom’s gonna get on a wooden boat and row out for me. I’ll grab it and chase it like I’m attacking her. Some oil platform guys nearby will throw a net on me and mom will ask them for a tour. Once they’re asleep after mom knows where’s where, she will snuck up to my net and let me lease. Then she’ll be my navigator to the power switch to turn this thing off. PS Simple, right?

My headless knight plan will include a knight suit from Hollywood that comes in black. Me and mom are gonna make a fake grave and mom will bury me in it. (Don’t worry – I’ll hold my breath.) Then we tell Hobby Lobby’s company owners that there’s a lot of money nearby somewhere.  Then mom will head up to them and tell them to get ready for me to be their navigator and lead them right to me. Hobby Lobby treat boys better than girls. They mistreat girls on purpose. When they get to the place where we buried the fake head, there will be an X. When they’re digging,  mom will hide and say in a deep voice, “You were warned!” That’s my signal to come out of the fake grave and scare them and tell them they must treat girls as well as boys, or else! (Dun dun dun). PS the cat might be included.

If you like my plans, wish me luck and support us at Misandry Angie or my Facebook page,  Kid’s LEGO Creations by leaving a comment below.  Thank you!

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